The nutty professor

27 Feb

I just read this, and it would appear to me that “Professor” Clive Palmer has lost the plot. My disrespect to his honorary title from Bond University is deep, although if you can find a more appropriate professor for Bond University, I’d be impressed. Much like Bond, Mr Palmer likes the IDEA of being prestigious and reputable, but at the end of the day, is more about the money and appears to view the Gold Coast as the zenith of Western Civilisation.

In a shallow attempt to pander to the prehistoric masses, he erected dinosaurs on his golf course. I don’t feel the need to explain WHY this was not received well (robotic dinosaurs on a “prestigious” golf course. Come on.), but I dare say that Clive has managed to top this abomination.

It would appear that, sometime in the last 15 years, Mr Palmer developed a deep appreciation for the R.M.S Titanic, the oppulent ocean liner that famously sunk on her maiden voyage, taking 1500 people with her. And when I say R.M.S Titanic, I really mean the James Cameron movie. He has now commissioned a shipyard in China to build him an exact replica (every square foot) of the original (apparently the movie was based on an actual boat), which he plans to launch in 2016 (the 19th anniversary of the movies maiden screening).

Puny human guests will be dressed in period clothes (movie costumes, I guess) and, as one might imagine from a billionaire, the ship’s strict class segregation will be in full effect. Although, Mr Palmer asserts that he will be in steerage because he “likes irish stew and potatoes” (a fan of food, Clive?), and looks forward to banging the drum and swinging around and around (man, being poor is great!). Though it pains me to admit, the archaic lizard in me does appreciate the absence of telephone and television (presumably replaced with pokie machines). This entire farce poses the question: How tacky can one man get?

I for one can’t wait for Mr Palmer’s next venture, and I can’t help but speculate at what it might be:

  • Placing putt-putt obstacles on all the greens at his golf course
  • Recreating the Second World War so he can experience the glory of battle (nevermind all the death)
  • Ping pong shows (you know the ones) and cheerleaders at Bond graduation ceremonies
  • Fricken’ lasers on the moon
  • Gangnam Style Transformers doing the Harlem Shake at the Australian Open
  • Building a death star at Uluru

I guess there’s no accounting for taste

T


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2 Responses to “The nutty professor”

  1. dombawomba February 27, 2013 at 12:41 pm #

    Another fantastic contribution, dinosaur man!

  2. dombawomba June 29, 2013 at 1:05 am #

    What happened to this blog

    Gaffy

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