Two things that make me mad(den brothers)

21 Feb

Who the fuck invited the Madden brothers to Australia? Who thought they had their finger on the pulse when they believed that these two douchebags would help sell their product? How many times people drove through that KFC drive through without batting an eye? I must admit, I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw those over-tattooed and over-exposed “rockers” working at a fast-food restaurant.


Apparently there is a petition to Joel and the other one to return to the United States. I haven’t signed it because, as a Rex, it is below me to meddle in the affairs of Tarentos (, and it also comes across as a wee bit racist (not to mention that it just won’t work: if 29,000 signatures couldn’t get The Doctor of JJJ, no amount of signatures could get these lame-o-sauruses to fuck off to the puddle of talentless shit and piss they congealed from). However, if you should feel the need to show your support for music and sensible advertising, then I’m sure you’ll be able to find it (you Gen Y god/goddess).


My objection to KFC/Vodaphone’s campaign doesn’t stop with two never-was-beens that last surfaced on the airwaves back when I was eating mashed up diplodocus out of a jar using a spoon with a plane for a handle. No. My strongest objection is that the portrayal of Australians (by Australians, apparently) misses the mark by so far.

As a dinosaur, I love cricket. As such, I have been to many matches, across all forms of the game. Not once have I shouted “Howzat”. That’s what the players shout. As a supporter, I KNOW that the opposing batsman is out, and, as a student of Australian culture, verbalise the appropriate response: “Got him yes piss-off you’re out!” followed by a profession of undying love towards the bowler, and the invitation for coitus. Don’t even get me started on wearing a bucket on my head. The watermelon the head is much more familiar, although KFC can’t really be promoting fried chicken and watermelon…

There is a worrying trend in Australian advertising to saturate our television screens with immensely irritating ads ad nauseam. Perhaps these marketing prodigies think that being viral is the measure of advertising, and that it can be manufactured. In a perfect world (which existed, by the way, about 66 million years ago…) no ad would be repeated within a 30-minute period (a 66 million year period would be better, actually). Notable exceptions would be that colgate ad with the cute blonde, the Australian Unity ads with Zoe (still waiting for my Blog Writers Christmas Party invite…), and that Youi insurance ad that plays Howlin’ For You.

So boycott KFC or something. Save Australia: Eat a Madden brother instead.



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