The perils of flying

24 Oct

My legs are 3.5m long, so you can imagine that air travel poses some unique challenges to a Rex. Given my considerable size and lethality, you would think that anyone sitting in front of me on a plane would refrain from putting their seat back. You would be wrong.

This occurred to me recently and I was not impressed (nor were the cabin crew and my fellow passengers when the intestines, fecal matter and bile of this disgusting cretin were flung throughout the cabin…). The miscreant, who also happened to be wearing sunglasses indoors, pushed his seat back into my person without any consideration of my own comfort. It’s hard to imagine, with my hot breath and saliva dripping over him like a shower (sounds a bit 50 shades of grey, doesn’t it. 50 feet of grey death?), but it’s almost as if he didn’t know I was there (this must be that rush that velociraptors are always going on about). Suffice it to say, dear readers, that I dutifully informed him of my presence all to soon.

So the next time that you happen to have the king of all dinosaurs sitting behind you flicking through a magazine on a plane, might I suggest you don’t rest your seat back into his groin. You might think you’re going to be comfortable, but oh boy, you’re about to get real uncomfortable real soon, if you get my drift (and my 30cm teeth embedded in your basal ganglia).

 

T

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