Beggars being choosers

24 Oct

I’ve started noticing something lately. In days gone by, when a donation collector would stumble into my mouth, I used to spend hours spitting out shiny tokens. Lately, however, this has not been the case. Instead, I find paper cuts on my gums courtesy of empty sign-up forms.


Some charity organisations now forbid their volunteers from accepting cash donations (i.e. the only ones they actually get), for fear that said volunteer may pocket the coin for their own sinister purposes (because people who volunteer for these jobs are, by and large, cunts). Nowadays, should you find yourself face to face with some buffoon in a koala suit, they will reject your golden tokens, and request that instead you sign up to make an electronic payment, thus requiring the donatee to exert far more effort than is really necessary.


Presumably, people who lack the ruthlessness to devour a donation collector whole, put their coins back in their pockets, about face, and march off muttering something about beggars being choosers. The outcome for the charity is the same though: no money.


It would seem then, that instead of losing a small amount of money to the odd societal skidmark that goes out of their way to exploit these charities, they prefer to neuter themselves by making donation a massive hassle (not in the GRAND scheme of things, I’ll admit, but compared to throwing pocket change into a bucket, it’s another ballgame completely).


What does this mean at the end of the day? Well, I won’t be able to get a secondary high from eating koalas (extinct), contract facial tumors from devouring Tasmanian Devils (extinct), or fill myself on third world children (extinct). So it would seem that the greatest friend to these needy causes, is actually it’s greatest threat. Food for thought.


One Response to “Beggars being choosers”

  1. IDGAF October 28, 2012 at 10:59 am #

    “[B]ecause people who volunteer for these jobs are, by and large, cunts.” Haha. But seriously, I could not agree more. These electronic payment schemes continue ad infinitum – I personally think it is a very sneaky way to operate.

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